The other side of the apple

I close my eyes until the dark makes me dizzy 
          
          Drawing circles in the black until the messy lines form a person 
          
          An arm stretching through the night to hand me the words 
          
          In the morning it is all going to be okay 
          
          I nod at the image trying to give my consciousness away
          
          Knowing what I whisper to myself 
          is what they didn't dare to say
          

I'm going to post this rant here so not everyone of my followers sees it. Otherwise I'm kinda bound by my words and I'm not sure I want to be that.
          
          For the last 8 or so years Wattpad has helped me socialize and make friends. Although I've never really liked them as a company, I've still loved this place. Okay adds are annoying, but I could deal with those. Same with other functions they removed.
          
          However now they are taking away more and more to the point where this is not the place I knew. I've been considering just off lining most my work and leaving. I honestly don't know what keeps me here. I love to share my stories with the world. But it's been enough frustration. Still, leaving would mean I've no solid place to share my work.
          
          Of course there's other places. I'm currently active on quite a few, but none of them support Dutch and they all have major flaws. That being said Wattpad now has many of those flaws too.
          
          So that leaves me in this strange position. I'm nervous about leaving, because this place has meant so much to me. But I'm also unsure if I really need Wattpad anymore. I've grown as a writer so much that looking at real opportunities has become a real conversation (sometimes annoyingly so).
          
          So yeah, I don't know where you'll find me next. Maybe I stay and deal with this change, maybe I'll offline some of my work and let Wattpad just be another one of the sites I'm active on, instead of a main priority. I'm not fully sure. But after this point things won't be the same anymore.
          
          

I finally took the time to change up this profile a bit. I might edit more later. But for now this will do.

Some days I forget I am ill
          I open the blinds of my body to a warm and sunny sight
          My eyes pulled to the windows light
          Just like everyday since I undid my last wish
          
          I have flowers for breakfast
          I am unafraid of the nausea that crawls into my throat
          It’s a feeling that the poison rewrote
          To a much prettier kind of destruction
          
          I whisper my stories as I fade through the city
          Driving once again, like I should have done long before
          Blinded by orange light it’s easy to ignore
          The truth about my cities fall
          
          Maybe this evening I will go for dinner with the pastor and his friends
          He will ask me where I’ve been, with curious intend
          And I will smile the word fine without having to pretend
          Because some days I forget I am ill

It's supposed to be fictional
          Until it isn't
          And then what?
          When the paper cuts and the tears sting like the poison I drank before 
          When the unimaginable merges with all
          And I keep telling
          It's supposed to be fictional 

Unlikely
          
          It was unlikely for us to meet
          Unlikely for us to stay connected
          I didn't blame you when you left
          Just know that you have affected
          Me in a way I couldn't imagine
          You came and went like a wave 
          Yet somehow
          The storm you gave
          lingers 
          

Welkom in mijn wereld van woorden
          Een ingestort huis, een ontwortelde boom
          Explosies van letters, waarheid in inkt
          En ze zeggen dat het prachtig is
          
          Zo krachtig met de sterren van hun plaats gerukt
          Draag het universum als een cape
          En het is niet, het is nooit genoeg
          Maar ik vertel je dat het prachtig is
          
          Zo machtig met een kroon van planeten
          Maar hun as glipt uit mijn vingers
          Want ik weet niet wat ik doe
          Dus ik lieg dat het prachtig is
          
          Jachtig raap ik de letters bij een
          In prop ze terug in mijn mond, kras ze weg
          Wat als ik verkeerd ben, het verkeerde zeg
          Hoe durf je te zeggen dat het prachtig is?
          
          Machtig wordt klein
          Woorden breken krachtig
          Bloed gonst jachtig
          En deze scherven
          De weggegooide zinnen…
          De stukgelopen woorden…
          De tranen en de pijn…
          Alles wat ik niet heb willen zijn
          En deze glasplinters op een betonnen vloer
          Dit ongelezen verhaal…
          Het rusteloze hart…
          Mijn ik ben niet genoeg…
          Een abrupt gesloten boek
          
          Is het niet prachtig?

Ik heb een gedichtenboek. Ik zou het leuk vinden als je het boek leest. 

leuke gedichten! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Het gedicht in je bio is echt fantastisch!
          Ik moest het even kwijt :)