Hey, I took some time to read a bit of your story, and although the writing style is quite different from mine, I still want to give you some feedback. There are some small grammatical errors you can always change, but in the beginning of the story, some settings weren't very clear in where the characters were. Since there were many breaks in the dialogue between characters to show they were in different places, I think it would help it you could be more descriptive when writing the setting. It would help readers gain a better picture in where the characters are and their conversations. I'm sorry I couldn't give this feedback to you sooner because I didn't see your reply in my first message to you, until I thanked you for following me. I hope this feedback helps you nonetheless and that you'll continue to keep writing to your heart's content!
