I wish it was that easy. I feel like it's just another year of the same thing. Depression is hard to hide and all this acting is really exhausting. But I think I could be a good actor some day, I wish I could tell you my name, but I'm afraid, too afraid I can't I'm sorry but please listen at least for a bit to my story. It's easy to act happy all the time. All you have to do is smile.
So easy. but when I'm alone I can be myself, It feels weirdly comforting to talk to yourself about my problems. Because why not? My mom used to say that in life you're friend and people die alone. I heard that line when I was about 9 years old. I asked my mom why she had friends and I didn't so she told me that. When she started sending me to girl guides, I didn't want to go but she forced me because 'I have to go' as usual. never that I wanted to go. It was fun for a while but then it got boring. I avoid going there because I didn't want to hear about their great days at school and I didn't know what to say when they asked me how my day was, because I didn't go to school, I was home schooled. one time , all the time. my mom and my brother were arguing and my brother started breaking things. I hide in my room, when it was over I wanted to get away I had a girl guides and I went because I wanted to get away from it all, forget and think everything was be ok. I see abuse posts everywhere and I feel sorry for them. But I can't stop thinking about my situation. It's hard to say why I want to go to college but I just want to get away. Going on holidays didn't help me at all and didn't make me happy it's just filtering the problems. I was just acting happy so my mom wouldn't nag me but I can't act for long so I told her before I got tired. and it's only making me more depressed...

Thank you for reading this.

This is just a small part of my life...
I'm sixteen now if anyone wanted to know..