shawnsleo

I AM GOING TO UPDATE CHAPTER 3 TONIGHT IF IT KILLS ME. I suck at updating i'm so sorry i literally wrote all over chapter 3 of iMessage twice but i didn't like the way it turned out both times so i erased it and started over i hate this im sorry

i'm going to try and get chapter 3 of iMessage up tonight, if not tomorrow. i have to go back to school tmro and i've been out since dec.16 so it'll be tough to go back lol but i'm going to try to get chapter 3 up tonight and have chapter 4, and hopefully 5, up sometime this week... thank you all, luv u 

in another universe, we fall in love at the right time with the right intentions. you whisper that you love me into my ear, and you mean it. we don't second guess ourselves and argue until the other breaks down in tears. because in this universe, we fall in love with the right intentions. 
          in another universe, she doesn't exist. she doesn't capture the love and attention that i desired for. she doesn't kiss your lips only to lead us to our fate. i don't have to second guess myself if i'm your only. because in this universe, she doesn't exist.
          
          in this universe, we fail. i lay awake at night wondering why i was never good enough. all the lies and bullshit you committed. you come and go as you please only to hurt me all over once more. i cry only to see your eyes full of hate. we sit in silence, neither one of us have the energy to pick up the pieces. not this time. because in this universe, we fail.
          
          
          

aw thank u love

3rd Imagine for my 'Shawn imagines' and Chapter 2 (and possibly 3) for 'iMessage' tomorrow before 5pm EST ;) 
          

New chapter for the Shawn Imagines tmro and possibly Chapter 2 for "iMessage" ;)

i want you to remember me curled up, listening to the sound of your heartbeat and tracing maps across your skin. remember me laughing at your jokes, even the stupid ones. remember me in hysterics for absolutely no reason and the one time you made me so sad neither of us thought i'd recover. remember me brave, that one time you held my hand and i thought i was going to die; remember me scared and gentle and delicate and breakable. - only for you though, only for you. 
          
          remember me happy, and all the ridiculous ways i tried to get your attention. remember the way i was too stubborn to talk to you and how absolutely insane it drove both of us. remember all the firsts and how delightful they were and how we went back for seconds, thirds and fourths. remember all the songs you couldn't stop listening to and the childish dreams you allowed yourself about the future. if it's any consolation i allowed myself to have them too. if it comes to it, i don't want you to remember the ending.
          
          remember the beginning. remember the first time you knew. 

if i told you i wear makeup for myself and that i'm confident without it, i'd be lying to you. i don't skip breakfast, and lose sleep and a cup of coffee every morning so i can 100% say i do makeup because it's an art that i enjoy. no. if i actually tried and had time, maybe it'd even look good. but i don't and it doesn't, and i'm okay with that. i don't wear makeup for me. i wear it because i want people to think i look pretty. i tried not wearing any makeup whatsoever to school one day, and got asked all these questions. i don't want questions and to have to explain why i have acne and a red face. i don't know, i want to be confident in myself without makeup, but i'm not. i envy people like my best friend who can not wear makeup every day, look good, be confident & when she does, she looks just as good. and and i'm slowly trying to find a way for myself to wear makeup on my conditions and wear it because i want to, because it is most definitely an art. just not for me. but i'll get there:)

my name? ask shawn. he moans it every night ;)

I just published chapter 2 of 'Fire and Ice' ! Go check it out! x