I remember, growing up... I didn't really have anybody. Family and I bounced around a lot. Grew up in the suburbs of Liverpool, UK... then hoped over to China for a bit, then Japan, then to the States where I've been for most of my life, 
I never really had anyone, friends... I only remember one, until she moved away, then I had no one again. Growing up where my parents were really never home, I've never really had the warm welcome homes when I got home from school, nor the goodbyes when I left for school. They seemed to always be gone when I left or not back when I am back. 
I've always been used to being by myself, I always shut myself just to save myself the damage from being hurt again. Because my heart knows that, once I am attached, close... they always end up leaving my side. Being alone and lonely is honestly what I am best at. Putting on a fake smile and getting through the day is the only way I'd be able to survive through it. 
Being able to show to true nor real emotions throughout the day and not say a word, burst into tears, is honestly what I find a miracle. 
My life began a mess... there is no doubt it'll end in a mess. 
My stories are a rendition of what my life was like(with a certain twist) and how I wanted to end, but we all know fairy tales are just stories meant to be read not lived.