Ivy

hi baby. I love seeing the profiles of anyone who shows even a little bit of likeness for my book. and I came here and now I want to be friends with you. I think you need someone by your side to support you after losing so many people and going through so much. I think you're a really strong person and I admire that so much. do you have insta? 

Hi you wonderful human being! If you have any issues or you just need to vent, I'm here.

Hey everyone, I will be updating the books I have ongoing soon. I suppose in about a month you'll have regular updates. 
          
          I apologize for being away for months. 
          
          My favorite professor died at the end of March and I haven't taken it well. Where I study it is as if we are a big family and losing them has been incredibly hard.
          
          Then one of my friends lost their mum and we all had to be there for them, which made me realise how much I love my mum and how devastated it really is losing a mum. Thankfully our friend tries to handle it well. We haven't let them alone at all, we have sleepovers almost every night. 
          
          That was at the beginning of April.
          In the midst of April we lost another friend, due to suicide and then another one who died under different conditions. 
          
          I'm still shocked by how many people I've lost in so little time and that is why I need more time to feel mentally stable enough to start writing again.
          
          Please, tell your loved ones how much you love them regularly, you never know what happens....
          And if you are struggling just talk, please do talk before doing something stupid and irreversible. 

I wish I could actually hate my father. 
          I love him and the way he behaves makes me want to throw up.
          I feel ashamed of having positive emotions for him and I hate myself for that.
          The way he screams and throws or hits stuff... it's disgusting. 
          He's a fucking adult for maaanyyyy years, he should have learnt by now he's on the wrong side for doing that.
          
          I feel guilty for loving him and much more guilty for hating him.

Healthy advice by a university student:  Don't pull all nighters almost every night. Sometime it'll catch up on you. 
          The past week I slept in total for ten hours. On Monday I was like, pfft I'm going to sleep on the weekend but then the Friday we went clubbing till morning so I didn't sleep. Saturday morning and we were still out making the decision to go on a road trip.
          Now I'm four hours away from my apartment and university, while tomorrow morning I have 4 classes but for now I still have no plans for that or for when I'm going back. 
          
          Moral of the story; sleep because when you don't you make bad decisions 
          (Or good- i mean I needed that trip ngl)

I just read the MOST heartbreaking Haechan-centric fanfiction in ao3 AND IT IS LEFT ON A CLIFFHANGER NOT EVEN FINISHED.
          
          The last update was on December 30th but I really hope they update soon I need the last two chapters!!!!!!!!
          
          *you can message me if you need the name of the fanfiction but just so you know it has to do with Haechan unaliving himself.

Ugly crying till your tears reach your boobs<3
          ^me rn
          
          Hope things will work out and that there is actually a reason I'm doing what I'm doing, because right now I honestly just feel hopeless. 

I LOVE YOUR STORIES SM OMG

i fcking love your stories please

Today I was hanging out with a bunch of friends and we were talking about a person we recently met.
          What threw me off guard was their opinions about mental health issues and especially self harm.
          We all know that this person has depression and is dealing with these issues and their reaction was to hiss in disgust just by the mention of scars inflicted by self harm. 
          
          And that is exactly why there is still stigma around mental health. I have also dealt with self harm and now being aware of their thoughts; I am genuinely scared to share this aspect of my life with them. 
          
          No one should be scared to talk about their problems, whatever they are about. 
          
          When a human being goes as far as to harm themselves, they need guidance to be able to live and love life, not medieval comments guiding them towards death, whatever death means for each individual.