Okay, it's time for me to be honest with myself. Even though no one is going to see this, I need to let it out just so it can hit me.
Soon my break is going to end and I realized that I haven't used that free time efficiently. I also feel burnt out and unmotivated, and kind of worthless...
I know that some people are waiting for an update for Phantasmic. I even planned out all the character interactions, and development, and even how the story was going to go, I even have the next chapter all typed up but it doesn't feel satisfactory; it just feels like a waste. Some people really love how I started the story, but really, I just started the story it because I was bored and it wasn't supposed to be serious. At this point I want to revamp it and start all over, it's just that I don't have the right feeling for it right now. it was a lazy start I'll admit it. I started that story when I wasn't feeling confident at all--at my lowest point. Which is also why it feels so awkward to read. I'll keep the book up, but know that I won't be updating it anymore. Who knows, maybe I might pick up the idea again in the year.
Another thing I should change is the mindset I have about writing. I don't even have a big following here, but I still want to please people--it's just not good. The more I think about it I realize that it became more a chore to write--it's not, it's a hobby, and how I write is how I do it. For me coming up with ideas is easy, but trying to convey that through writing is pretty tough. But since then, I realized it wasn't so bad as long as I'm confident in myself, and i'm having fun. I hope to grow from this. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
Currently I am on Choso brain rot and I need to get it out of my system, so yes. I am starting another fanfic. For the time being I'll be taking a break on my Yuji fanfic, since I haven't decided whether I want it to be a wholesome fluffy story or a slow-burning angst. Suggestions are open.