Ok so it's been a while. And I don't know if anyone keeps up with this page anymore..or reads my stuff. But I thought I would just go ahead and post an update and maybe an explanation for my prolonged absence.
So as some of you know, most of my fics have not been updated in almost a year. The reason for that is, I just can't bring myself to write them. I still love AAD and I always will and I am forever grateful for the people i've met and the love i've received.
This account, these stories used to be my happy place. But as a few of you are aware, a really bad experience with someone I used to consider a friend changed that. I tried to break it off with them, but even after I did they continued to stalk and harass me via my curious cat account and A03 account.
I won't lie to you things got really bad with my mental health, and I almost made a permanent mistake many times over the last year. When I realized that most of the fear and bad feelings were stemming from what happened and feeling unsafe online. I took a step back.
I decided that I would move to another fandom, create another account, and attempt to get back into writing fanfics in a less triggering atmosphere. I am pleased to say it has somewhat worked and I feel a little better.
I logged in here for the first time today to see if maybe I could do it, if I could read my stories and maybe pick up where I left off. However as soon as I opened one of the stories, memories came back and I ended up right back in that dark headspace.
I just don't think i'm ready yet, and I don't feel the passion for my stories that I used too.
If you made it this far, you might be asking yourself what this means for the future of this account.
I'm no really about everything but I have decided some things:
Is the account closing? No
Are the stories being removed? No
Do I still love AAD? Yes
Will I come back to this fandom: I don't know but I want to
Do I love and appreciate every single one of you? Yes
