silly_slugzzz

!!!!!TW!!!!!:SH MENTIONS AND ATTEMPTED SUIC!DE MENTIONS
          VENT POST
          
          
          
          
          I hate it here. I hate hate hate hate HATE living here. I can't wait to move the hell OUT of this house. I'm so sick and tired of being told I "don't do a god damn thing around the house" and "I only work and that's it". First off, FUCK you. You act like you've never acted that way? Yeah, okay, I KNOW you have because I'm your fucking kid. I'm also the one with an "attitude" 24/7 and it's "so stupid how I act the way I do". How I act like what?? Just because I had a bad day and I'm not responding to you fast enough and have a "weird tone"? That's fucking bullshit. It doesn't help that my mom is the one saying this 24/7, and the fact that before we got out of school my sister was being bullied and writing about wanting to harm herself in a school notebook. When my mom brings it up she says how my sister needs to talk to her about things like that and how it's serious and she doesn't want my sister to go to a psych ward like I did even though I did it "for attention" because her and my dad fought all the time. Yeah, totally for attention and not because I genuinely wanted to end my life! Totally not like I was also bullied severely for being different and "annoying" and was told to cut myself!!! And she told my sister she doesn't need to bottle things up or hide things, even if she (my mom) knows it'll be harder to talk to my sister about those things because "it's more serious". Right, you know everything because I told you "everything"! Including when I first got razors to shave my legs and instead gave myself razor burn on my arms whenever I felt awful (years ago, but still not good to do). Oh, wait, you never knew about that! So stfu. Genuinely.
          
          I know this is probably long but I needed to get this off my chest.

Sadly another new profile 

So, as you guys might know, I will be a Senior this year. As of pretty recently, I've come to terms with the fact that people grow apart and change— And that friendships aren't always forever. While I do really appreciate my friend, I think we just have changed a lot, and are focused on different things. While it'll probably suck doing my Senior year with one less friend, I want to be able to focus on myself without stressing myself out over my friendship that wasn't meant to last forever and ever.
          
          Side note:My mom is okay! She just had a seizure after she's blacked out, but she was in the hospital for 4 days and came home Monday. They are having her take seizure meds now, but whatever keeps her healthy and okay.

Hey, I'm going on another hiatus. My mom had a seizure last night and was taken to the hospital. She's currently in the ICU. I was told it was a seizure, but I don't know if my dad's just trying to make it seem less serious (worse?) Than it is. But she hit her head when she blacked out, and they're trying to make sure that doesn't make anything worse or get to be something worse. She's obviously not coming back home today. I'll try to keep you guys updated, but I'm going to focus on myself right now.
          
          Stay safe guys, enjoy the rest of your day.

Kay, so, I was at work earlier today, yes? And I went on break, minding my business and eating the food I bought from home. Well, this older guy, Hispanic, maybe Indian, kept staring at me. Then he was talking to his wife in either Spanish or Hindi(?), and was pointing at me, then said something to his grandson and pointed at me. Mind you, I can't really hear him, but the bits I did hear, I had no idea what he was saying. So, I kind of start getting really uncomfortable and I'm texting my friend about it (who doesn't currently work, and was asleep). And he's staring at me while I'm texting. So I look over when he's looking away, AND I SEE HIS HAND IN FRONT OF HIS CROTCH. Like, the palm of his hand on his crotch. I have never stood up faster. Mind you, he was next to HIS WIFE AND GRANDSON doing this in a PUBLIC PLACE that was BUSY!! I obviously told my manager, because wtf??? He had to be MID 40'S, EARLY 50'S AT LEAST, STARING AT ME (LEGALLY A MINOR) AND DOING WHAT HE WAS DOING. 
          
          So yeah, totally fun!!

Heyoooo! I'm back from my hiatus! I'm coping better with the loss of my co-worker (and friend/crush), and I got a thank you letter from his parents today. They thanked me for the flower arrangement I bought him (it was purple and white, purple because it was his favorite color, and white for, well, loss). Anyways, I'm also think about being a ranter on YouTube (not TikTok, because my mom hates it, and because my classmates would DEFINITELY find out on there TmT) Idk though, but you guys have a good day! ^^

HAPPY PRIDE GUYS!!!
          I'm not officially back from my hiatus, but just wanted to post this little message :3

Hey guys. I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm probably going to be going on a hiatus for a while, though it's not like I really write anything on here anymore.
          
          I just found out yesterday that my co-worker, the one I had a crush on and went on a church date with, passed away yesterday morning. I was starting to really be close with him. I don't know how he died, but he was found in his home, no foul play or anything. So it very well may have been su!c!de.
          
          Anyways, I'll be back on here eventually. Bye guys.

I'm out of school, and have been for almost a week now on Summer break! It's going okay so far.
          
          And I'm also a senior, after all of these years, I've made it to my last Summer break for school before I (hopefully) get into college! I'm so, so proud of myself. I've made it soooo far, and I'm making my parents proud. I've already cried sooo many times thinking about my LAST day of highschool, which will be in 2027. I'll be doing my graduation walk with my class on the last day of school, and then I won't be at school with my siblings anymore but on my own, and we'll do our graduation the day after our last day of school, and oh my God, I'm tearing up just writing this! I'm so ready, but at the same time, I'm not!
          
          Like, this all feels genuinely UNREAL! It feels like just  weeks ago I was just entering highschool, and look at me now!

Little Update:
          I GAVE MY CRUSH MY NUMBER YESTERDAY AND HE MESSAGED ME!!!
          We've been talking about little things. Idk if he likes me like that, BUT
          He asked when I got off work TWICE before yesterday, and almost always greets me at work, and talks to me and asks how my day has been EVERY TIME I see him at work.
          
          And y'know what's funny? My irl friend said I should ask him out on Saturday (she said this on Friday,) and that same day? HE ASKS FOR MY NUMBER! I didn't ask him out cus idk if he has a girlfriend (and I'm like, a really nervous person), but he asked for my number, so maybe not? Who knows