Hey I read your fiolee story and it seems like you have a really good start to it. But If I can suggest a few things. I would say try not to make the same mistake I have before by making things go really fast and having them imeadtly say I love you. And maybe to show things instead of just outright saying what it is. But other than that it's good and I feel like you could do some really interesting things with your story.