ollie (busy asf)

my wattpad account may be redacted. my mom is looking through my email stuff and won't let me on. I'm scared as hell, help. But if I ever leave... for those I know, I love you all. You'll always be in my heart. For those I don't.... hi. I hope I leave behind a tiny legacy, no matter how small, and I want you to know you matter, you can do it, and you are worth it.

hey okay sorry for ghost ping from earlier chat! (by chat I mean my like two active followers lol)
          venting on wattpad is to say the least, difficult, especially when you overthink, overreact and overanylyze a friendship with your squish. It's not like venting on Discord, because there are select servers on Discord and most venting channels have a no-reply rule.
           Because when you vent on wattpad, every single wattpad user in the history of the world can see you.
           So I'm setting up some venting rules on my account.
           One. Vents will be up until they are no longer true or I stop getting frustrated over the situation. Like if I vent about [y] hating me, the vent will be up until either [y] no longer hates me or I longer give a carp. So whatever you reply to a vent, keep in mind it may be taken down soon.
           Two. Vents will be done by me only. Any things like "awww, that's sad almost as sad as the time when..." will be deleted. If I'm venting, more venting probably won't help my mental health. Common sense.
           Three. If you're not going to be comforting, don't say it. Hug emojis and "hope you feel betters" are okay. Just... don't annoy me. (Sorry, Moon. It's just the whole "SO DO YOU ACTUALLY HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM??" texting thing was a bit... not at the right time, to say the least.)
           Four. Vents will not be announced so you don't have to worry about ghost pings.

I HAVE A DEVIANT ART UNDER sir0llie (https://www.deviantart.com/sir0llie)

finished reading darkstalker.
          I love whiteout.
          She's adorable.

CELEBRATING ONE YEAR GAY :3
          
          (okay, okay, fine aroace but who cares)

11-6
          (don't mind me I'm just taking notes

HEY CHAT!
          I watched "Muppets Treasure Island" a few days ago. Really great movie. Except now I have "Professional Pirate" stuck in my head. Ooop.
          
          I guess I'll just have to...
          
          drumroll...
          
          make a Keefe x Tam AU!
          
          TW: death, ghosts, murdurder
          
          This AU takes place in the Lost Cities, 18th century England. The Neverseen in this AU are pirates. Lady Gisela leads them on their ship. Her son, Keefe Songbird (cringey last name I'm so fricking sorry), served as captain's boy. However, after a while he became useless and Lady Gisela sent him to a watery death.
          Five years later, Tam is recruited by Lady Gisela onto the ship with the promise to save her from the influenza outbreak the Neverseen supposedly caused. There he meets many others.
           Starboard (Glimmer), who stowed away at the young age of seven but was discovered (and adopted) by the crew as a servant.
           Fitz Valor, the ship's cook, a rich man's boy who was kidnapped at a young age and dreams of one day seeing his family again.
           Dexter (Dex), a poor tinkering orphan who tried to find Fitz earn enough money to keep himself out of the orphanage. His attempts were in vain. He was kidnapped, but has developed a massive crush on Fitz and hopes to save them both.
           And lastly, Keefe Songbird's ghost. The most famous of them all. The walking dead. The boy who ends up stealing Tam's heart.
           Him, Tam, and the gang set off on a quest to save the world. And themselves.
           If they don't die trying first.

deleting some personal stuff from my page

26 days until I see my boy best friend again

VENT:
          I've never cried over a boy before and I've never cried over a boy but I'm so scared of losing friendship with my squish because he's been tuckered out on his phone the whole bus ride home lately and he responds so halfheartedly when I tell him good morning and I told him I miss the old, noisy, chaotic him and I can't start a conversation to save my life and I don't know what's going to happen and I don't know and I'm so scared of everything crumbling and I was going to work on his present but you know what maybe my classmate was right maybe I'm too obsessive over him and need to let go like he's not getting me anything why should I it would look romantic and I'm sitting here typing angrily, tears spilling out of my eyes over some stupid boy who stole part of my stupid heart and I thought we were going to be friends forever but I guess that's not how it works and maybe they were right maybe boys and girls can't be friends and maybe he never mattered that much to me and maybe we we're friends because what if he was just faking it because he pitied poor ugly dumb me and I don't know why I'm overreacting I wish I could talk to him normally again on the bus I wish he cared as much about me as I did about him and I'm sorry I'm sorry I said I wouldn't ever let go no matter what they'd sat and that I'll still love him no matter what but maybe I was lying and maybe it was a joke and maybe he just knows that I'm a stupid shitty person and not worth his time, especially if I'm drowning in self pity right now and I miss kindergarten I wish we were kindergarteners again because everything was so easy and I wish I was social and extroverted like he was becuase he deserves a friend like that and wish I never loved him so much and part of me wants to laugh at all the people who said we were dating and go "HA WE'RE NOT EVEN FRIENDS ANYMORE SO THERE" and I feel like an overreacting piece of shit but I love him and I've never cried over a boy before