skullsandaisies

noonesees this no one sees me no oen sees this nooen sees me

skullsandaisies

this message may be offensive 
i'm ranting on here cause i know no one will ever see it. i honestly feel like shit. i feel like all of my friends are getting distant. i feel like i should let them cause they deserve better friends than me. i feel like i'm nobody's best friend anymore. i feel like i'm not special to anyone. and it's no one's fault but mine. i grew distant, i stopped talking, i broke it and it's my fault. it's all my fault, my dad's right. i'm stupid and i can't do anything right. i'm just a dumb kid and i don't know anything about the world and i never will. i'm always going to be like this cause i'm weak in the head. he's right, fuck he's right. literally no one will love me. i'll die sad and alone probably very soon. a single little thing happens to me and i immediately inflict pain. any type of pain. just to feel a tiny bit better, but it never works. cause at least with the pain i feel something. god i feel so useless. i feel the most minuscule amount of pleasure when someone messages me and then its gone when they don't reply. i am ruined i am ruined. ruined by my own fucking selfishness.

skullsandaisies

"I never went back to the doctor.
          I never chewed the valerian root.
          
          This was freedom. Losing hope was all freedom. 
          
          If I didn't say anything, people in a group assumed the worst.
          They cried harder. I cried harder.
          
          Look up into the stars and you're gone."

skullsandaisies

"I know something that you don't. There's dew on the grass in the morning." 
          
          He suddenly couldn't remember if he had known this or not, and it made him quite irritable.
          
          "And if you look-" she nodded at the sky, "-there's a man in the moon."
          
          He hadn't looked for a long time.