this message may be offensive
//vent! tw: mentions of death, self harm//
Why do I feel like this? He’s betrayed me.. I hate him. She left me for her. I hate her. I act nice around her. I stab her when I’m alone with myself. But.. the important reason I’m venting, is.. Fuck.. my mom’s dead, has been for a while. My dad’s homeless, how grand. I’m treated like shit from my grandma, but.. I don’t want people to be stressed.. So I keep these thoughts to myself. But no. Just no. I can’t anymore. I’ve been sexually harassed once, smacked for nothing, and my best friend has left me.. now I know this sounds pathetic as hell, but.. As my best friend, I’m talking about my mom. We loved each other. We cried together. We laughed. Shared. I miss that love. I miss my old, care-free life. What the FUCK did I do to deserve this?.. It’s all in my head.. I just need to get over it, right? Heh. Yeah. I wish. I have self harmed a couple times out of anger and sadness..but.. what ever happened to care-free living? Not a worry in the world. Now someone whines and I feel like it’s my fault. I’m a loser. I’m pathetic. I don’t deserve love, clearly. I’m just not wanted in this world. I’m hated. No one has told me they were proud of something I did ever since she died. It’s my fault. I’m the one to blame.