I remember the night when I begged to God to be r****d. Because I saw a girl slightly older than me on the news, people forcing her to talk about "how it exactly happened" and no one actually listening to her cries. I begged God to put me through the same, If not the worse, so I can understand how the girl felt, so I can be on her side, so I can hold her hand, and truthfully tell her "I got you" and hug her, without asking questions that hurts as much as the "incident" itself. I was 7 at most back then. I didn't know what I was going through at that time was not any different than what the girl I wanted to help was going through. I just knew I begged God to give me someone that'd hold my hand and hug me without asking the questions that were asked to the girl, that'd believe my word without asking for proof. I wished to be that person to that girl because I didn't have one.
Then a few years ago, there was a girl I knew. She trusted me enough to talk about the same thing she was going through. I couldn't hold her hand, or hug her through the screen. But I tried my best to be on her side, to make her feel understood without asking questions unless she wanted to tell. I never told her to "talk to a trusted adult" or "get over it". Because I know how trapped you are in such a situation. I know how literally nobody would listen to you when the abuser is someone in your family, when they love them more than they love you.I never told her about what I had been through, I didn't want her to feel like I was just trying to up her story and make myself the center.But I always told her I genuinely got her, I hope she felt that way, I hope she felt that I was there for her, truly. We do not talk anymore, she stopped texting me one day. I hope she is okay, I hope karma found her monster, she's finding mine through their children. It doesn't ease the pain, it doesn't make you forget anything, it doesn't help. But still, they deserve to pay for it, in some way.
