NotHere

Sometime i have to remind myself that i dont miss them, im just not used to the silence that happiness brings. I had gotten so used to the constant toxic buzz that now that im free i dont know what to do with myself. And thats okay. Im taking it day by day. Not going back to bad habits or bad people.

Crazy how people dont actually change. Makes me wonder what parts of me haven't changed over the years. Probably best left unsaid. Im just relieved. 

Crying eating dumb chocolate covered cherries. I never really liked these things but who knew they meant so much.

I want to write many poems but i dont want them to become repetitive. 

Looking through my old posts on my conversation board. Damn do some of these still hit.

When you find a song that resonates deeply with a situation and you just listen for hours relaxed because you found something that connected that piece because music is such a deep part of how you meditate over events that take place.

Not talking to anyone has made my days seems lighter and easier to deal with but there's also a stress of not being able to speak to the people i want to speak too.
          
          Idk it's weird
          
          It feels nice going to painting classes and doing stuff away from what I usually do
          
          But I get this stress and guilt
          
          Idk
          
          I haven't done anything bad that I know of
          
          Its just not talking to the people who I speak with 24/7 I guess
          
          Idk
          
          I just dunno what's bothering me

Writting becomes so hard sometimes

Its hard to write a book revolving around a painful emotion when you no longer feel that emotion

I hope you have the best valentines day!