my favorite QUOTES 
I didn’t fall. The floor just needed a hug
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the hell she is.
Graduation Speech: I’d like to thank the internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Word, and Copy & Paste.
Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly
God made mud, God made dirt, God made boys so girls can flirt
What do you mean, my birth certificate expired? 
If you are talking behind my back, you are in a good position to kiss my a$$
Don’t you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF? 
Roses are red, violets are blue, a face like yours, belongs in the zoo, don’t be mad, i’ll be there, not in the cage, but laughing at you