smokyquartz13

oh my god thank you guys soooooooooooooooo much for 100 followers. it means sooooooooooo much! i love you guys all a lot. good night!

smokyquartz13

there was this one girl, and i used to really like her. we used to be great friends, i used to have great friends. they made me feel whole, now i feel like an empty hole. i don't want life, and i don't want death. i want to feel happy. i want to know why i'm here on this earth. i keep getting sadder, and sadder, and my friends don't seem to notice. i feel as if i've wronged every one. when i laugh, it's usually forced, and i'm great at forcing those, so no one notices. people ask me how i'm doing, and i say fine, or good or something believable like that, because i wouldn't lie about my emotions, would i? but i want someone who will notice and stop talking and say, "no, no you're not, what's wrong?" but, i know people are too busy thinking about what they're doing later, or someone else that's not me. and you know, that's okay. i'm used to people avoiding me, or rarely getting the right kind of attention. i get attention, but it's the kind because i'm an annoying little shoot. i'm sorry for wasting your notifications on this stupid little message/rant thing. i'm sorry for annoying you and i'm sorry for not being good enough. have a wonderful day. <3 ~betsy

smokyquartz13

I'll never be over leaving this part out of the movie because it takes away from an important director's detail in 'What You Own'. Here, we finally find out what Mark's problem is. Everyone else's  issues are on the table, all on their sleeves, but Mark is the only seemingly 'normal' one. He doesn't have AIDS, doesn't have a love interest, doesn't do drugs, or anything. He's the main support for a lot of the characters, constantly tries to ease the tension with Collins. 
          
          Here is where we see his disconnect with the rest of the group, how left out he feels, how he tries to resolve the fact that all of his friends are dying by dissociating through film.  In 'What You Own', while Roger is shown discontent with New Mexico, Mark gets more and more visibly upset, which is rare for his character. Then, the part he usually says into the phone, quitting his job to finish his own work, was instead shouted from the rooftop. He grips the edge and lets go, arms spread, calling to Angel. Angel is dead. He sees her, hears her, because he is about to die as well. He was going to kill himself during what you own, before Roger shows up. 
          
          Just a fun fact so that this song hurts even more. He took everything that Roger said, recognized the truth in it, realized that he couldn't do it anymore, and was planning on ending his life so he wouldn't have to deal with the pain of losing the only people he's close to.
          
          
          
          This is really sad, it's about Rent, and I was crying for like 15 minutes