solased

I AM STARTING FRESH - SO NO EXISTING STORIES FROM ME ARE COMING BACK SORRY

solased

2/2
          
          and thinking of others just than myself. and even though I say I will be better, I am definitely going to make some mistakes along the way, and if anyone wants to hold that against me, they can block me and never hear from me again, i am trying my best. 
          
          Hopefully in a few weeks - maybe months. I will have the courage to start writing again and be better. 
          
          so sorry to anyone i have hurt xxx 
          
          I hope this year to everyone is as fantastic as I strive mine to be! 
          
          thanks you, 
          lily

solased

oh my god wow. it has been so long, and i am so sorry to anyone who has been disappointed by me or has been affected by me anyway in any shape of form - and yes i know im not that important. but i just want to get it out there in case anyone felt that way - since all the logan paul drama and him not having the consideration to apologise correctly for his actions. 
          
          Before I go on, what first made me lean away from wattpad is that for some reason, I felt as if I was making up a perfect facade of myself for people to like me and want to talk to me. and now a realise I am fine with the way I am and am not going to try hide or conceal the bad and selfish parts of me. 
          
          ok to the rest of the monologue
          
          To be honest, life has just taken a hold of my whole entire life from school to friends and family, and from the constant pressure in students minds to be good at school to get the perfect marks for university or college really takes over until you have a cycle and routine of what you do everyday. It would constantly be sleep, eat, study, rest, repeat, and the rest usually included where i would sit and do nothing to stimulate my brain by watching tv. This probably went on until the end of school where the break ended where i could truly think for myself. I just didn't realise how much of a hold school had of my life and my thinking. 
          
          Slowly after these past weeks with my newfound free time and boredom, I have slowly gotten onto wattpad again to read everyone's amazing stories and have realised how much time has gone by and also how much i missed the great community that is wattpad. I am sick of other social platforms such as youtube where everytime i watch a video, I am constantly wondering whether it is genuine, and that is not how I want to live my life and enjoy my time. 
          
          And slowly again, I have newfound inspiration to write stories and reconnect with those I haven't talked to in a long time. and again want to say my deepest apologies for not being a better friend––