lelebjane
I love you
sonacholy
sonacholy
i already cant walk irl properly and the way jax treated ribbit reminded me of the way the iranian boy treated me [in sky cotl]... he said things to me "u straightly irritate me then stay away for days, i hope u go through the things i am, my heart is beating against its will" those words shook my entire body and brain and heart and i swear the throat lump and lungs pain i had it felt like death my eyes just saw white and red and black for a whole minute and then i said "yes i. wish i can go through all ur things so u dont have to and u can be hapy, i wish i could hear ur heartbeat =)" and he said "i hope it dies before u can" and then he just left...
...
am i bad person.?
qv33n3
@sonacholy a bad person wouldn't get upset over wondering whether or not they were being a bad person
l_ae_l
@sonacholy From what you described, I don't think you're a bad person. You responded to someone else's pain with kindness, even after they hurt you. A bad person wouldn't usually be worried about whether they're bad in the first place. It sounds more like you were deeply hurt by what happened and started blaming yourself. The fact that you responded with kindness even after being hurt says a lot about your heart. Please be gentle with yourself, you deserve the same kindness you give to others.
sonacholy
helo to anyone who is reading this, very good helo =) <3 i just want to say, iam very very sorry for being so negative person, and i wil try my best to stay here [as in stay alive i mean] on this planet and write if my storys can make anyone, anyone hapy. i hope u have a very nice day, even if u didnt then i hope u know im thinking about u rn and wishing best for u, we can do this !!!!! =) <3
lelebjane
@sonacholy Stop that makes me so happy and excited that you're trying I'm sorry for not being here as much as I'd like, I love you sm, you've got this!!
S3A-JELLIES
@sonacholy I'm so proud of you, don't stop believing in yourself and others, we ALL got this !!
sonacholy
jax makes me want to come back
S3A-JELLIES
@sonacholy y-you could be with me instead? >< (lol but uhm, they're just friends, so you still got a chance :) cuz you and rags are so canon)
sonacholy
nothing comforts me anymore, im done
qv33n3
@sonacholy i know it probably doesn't mean anything since i've barely ever spoken or interacted with you, but i hope whatever you decide to do, leaving or staying, makes you happy. i'm sorry i can't be there to say anything to you irl but i hope it gets better for you
S3A-JELLIES
@sonacholy I can't help you feel comforted, no matter if my words only put a temporary smile on, but just listen. I speak my heart a lot to you, and I can't blame you if you're tougher to reach emotionally than other ppl, but I'll keep trying because I care. I care so much that I can't express it with words. Pls don't "be done" I can't lose you, I'm selfish, sure, but I wouldn't be okay. Don't leave me Sona
KatlynPerry
@sonacholy please don't, I wish I could do more but please don't go. You have so many supporters here, including me!! Don't forget that
sonacholy
yea so im f ing done here. im gone. and if i want to write storys il write in my drafts since i already have like 8 of them.
already have enuf problems to survive this f ing life
i wanted to get full-on support from here but only 2 people here care about me and that is nice, i have their pinterest so there is no reason for me to stay here and try to interact with anyone
iam an almost mute person irl anyway, and if i died people wil cry and then forget me
yes, i am an attention seeker byebye =)
S3A-JELLIES
@sonacholy oh lovely... You have no idea how much people support you. It might just look like numbers but imagine that many people who show they care as much as I do. If you want to, I can't stop you from stopping your account on here, I support you, but just think about the ppl you'll meet and connect to. I'm mostly on WP anyways, and you make me smile at first glance (-at your profile since I can't irl T - T) and I will NEVER forget about you. You've impacted my life so much that I physically can't get you out of my mind.
sonacholy
im so tired of meds and hospital and seeing momdad so worried, ihate this life
S3A-JELLIES
@sonacholy I'm so fcking sorry this is all happening to you, love. You don't deserve it and I know my words aren't going to change that or make much of a difference, I just want to let you know that you aren't alone, I don't want to let you go, and I'm sorry for that selfishness, I just want to hold you and hope I'll make you better, even if it's just a little better. I can't change the life you have now, but I hope you understand what I'm trying to say.
sonacholy
iam so sorry please help me
i realy feel like i am on my last days this time
i do not want my poor family to cry
there is someone i deeply very much lovv, even if it is not allowed. he is 21, from iran. im making an age reveal here, i am 17. i have been friends with him since 14 oct, 2023 in sky cotl. i was in 9th class. i was a child. this boy was sad about a driving test he failed 3 times. i comforted him and we didnt talk for months, and when i one day randomly saw him again, i asked him. and he was hapy that i remembered the driving test and he said he had been driving for 6 months [he passed].
we became friends, very good friends, this was the start of this heckhole. =)
i got so attached to him. ive always been ace biromantic and i get attached very very easily. long story short, i was always, always comforting this boy.
his life is heck, his father is cruel, his mom is sad bcz of him being a "disappointment" and his big bro is mentally sick.
i always, always thought about him. worried and cared and defended and understood. i always cried over him and i still do.
i was there for him for a LONG time.
he had made new friends, and i was rude to them. [which i deeply deeply regret but it just happens, i cannot handle more than 1 person at a time, and when his friends joined, i got panic attacks, and ia m sorry]
i was also rude bcz i was jealous. he spent more time with them than me. he was undrestanding them, not me. I WAS A SICK CHILD IN 10TH GRADE.
they were so irritating to me too, they were only nice to him.
he made me cry very very much. and i always saw the good in him and i always went to him =)
qv33n3
@sonacholy i'm so sorry this is happening to you. it sounds awful and i wish i could help somehow. please rest and do whatever you need to do to feel better, even if it's just a little.
S3A-JELLIES
@sonacholy you shouldn't blame yourself for this kind of stuff. You're attached (not a bad thing), loyal, and understanding. You could try making him see that, but any sort of relationship (friends, neutral, lovers) shouldn't have one sided effort. I'm just really confused on a lot of stuff happening right now, so I'm sorry if Im not making sense, I really am sorry. But you make mistakes. You acknowledged them. You shouldn't let him break your heart like this or hurt yourself even more. Ik he matters a lot to you, love, but his words aren't being much help (and I don't know if mine are either :<) And please don't think you're talking too much. I'd rather hear you talk than one day never having to hear you again. A lot of stuff are affecting you right now, and I suggest you take a break, I'm here, but don't waste your energy on me. Pls take care of yourself since I can't :((
lelebjane
@sonacholy Hun don't apologize you can vent anytime. Can I get your pin from jelly so I can talk to you?
sonacholy
why do people write nsfw with CAINE WHAT THE HECK
lelebjane
Hi :)
