What's good. Thanks for following. Follow 4 follow :3
A few errors and typos on your story A forgotten place.
'had a steep pointed roof which, to an intruder, would be almost impossible to tackle.' 'If you didn't know it was there you'd have missed it.' Loads of punctuation errors, improper usage of commas over semicolons, and how it suddenly turned from a third-person omniscient view to a second-person limitred narrative. 'The words just came pouring from her mouth. That was the one problem here, YOUR thoughts were embarrassingly transparent.'
Aside from that, it's pretty well detailed. Nicely done.
Could you review my story, Words of Power Quest, where and when possible? :3 I hope we can collaborate and form a mutual symbiosis.
Here's my deal : I'll help proofread your stories, and in exchange, I'd like to hear your opinions on my story direction and such, or, if any, share your idea(s) on how I can proceed my own story.