[HYPERLINK BLOCKED]

HEY EVERY       !
IT'S ME, SPAMTON G. SPAMTON!

WHY BE THE [Little Sponge] WHO HATES ITS [$4.99] LIFE
WHEN YOU CAN BE A
[BIG SHOT!!!]

DEALS SO GOOD I'LL [$!$$] MYSELF! [While purchasing]
TRANSMIT [x] KROMER? [Before purchase]
MONEY NO [Not enough D$ for purchase]
DELICIOUS KROMER [On purchase]
[Storing up for the winter!] [Item placed in storage]
YOU HAVE TOO MUCH MONEY [Inventory and storage full]
WHAT!? YOU WERE SO CLOSE!! [Refuse buy]

DON'T FORGET TO [Like and Subscribe] FOR MORE [Hyperlink Blocked]! [Normal]
MANSION... BASEMENT! FIND IT!! [After purchasing KeyGen]
YOU'RE LEAVING!? WHAT ABOUT MY DISK!?!? [If carrying Empty Disk]

KRIS!!! YOU [Little Sponge]! I KNEW YOU'D COME HERE [[On A Saturday Night]]!
AFTER ALL, YOU WANNA BE A [Big Shot]! EAHAHAHAHAA!!
BUT HOW? HOW CAN YOU BE?
LISTEN. IN THE [Deep Abyss] OF QUEEN'S [Mansion]
[[A Great Deal]] IS WAITING For [[A LimiTed Time Only!]] A HEAVEN-PIERCING [[Workout-Ready Body]]
[[Designed BY The Classics You've Come To Expect! (C)1997]]
KRIS THAT [Little Nipper] IS OUR [One-way Ticket] TO MAKE YOU [Big]. MAKE ME [Big].
BEFORE YOU KNOW IT WE WILL BE TAKING [ A Ride around Town on Our Specil Cungadero]
VACATIONING IN [Burning acid] WHILE YOU SOAK IN THE [Hyperlink Blocked].
BUT KRIS DON'T [Breathe] YET!! THE WAY IS LOCKED BY [High Quality Encryption]!!!
YOU WILL NEVER GET INSIDE.
WAIT KRIS LOOK!! HEAR THOSE [Balloons]??? YOU ARE [1000th Customer]!!.
AS A [Commemorative Ring] I WILL LET YOU BUY [KeyGen] FROM ME AT [The Low Low Price Of]
WHAT DO YOU THINK!?!? IT'S SUCH A STEAL, I'M [$!X$]ING MYSELF!!!
TAKE THIS DEAL AND YOU WILL [[Die]]!! IT'S THAT GOOD!!!
[BUY] THE KEYGEN FROM ME, UNLOCK THE BASEMENT, AND GET THAT EmptyDisk!!!

I USED TO BE NOTHING BUT THE E_MAIL GUY, NOW I'M THE [[It Burns! Ow! Stop! Help Me! It Burns!]] GUY!
[[Amazed at thi5 amazing transformation? You too can]] HAVE A [[Communion]] WITH [[Unintelligble Laughter]]
SOON I'LL EVEN SURPASS THAT DAMNED [[Clown Around Town!]]