When I was three  years old my parents were taken away from me by a Sith Lord and were slaughtered because they knew of a secret plot.

Afterward  I was sent to live with my grandparents in Hobbiton and I stayed there until I was eleven when I received my Hogwarts letter. 

I Graduated from Hogwarts with the top marks for potions in all of Europe! When Voldemort took control, I decided to move to America where it was safer. 

But apparently I was wrong, because a year after Harry had defeated Voldemort, my home was destroyed by an Alien vortex and my faithful dog Sparky was captured by werwolves for satanic rituals. 

I realized the only way to avenge Sparky, was to train to become a ninja and whop their half human/half wolf asses. 

I was defeated, and in my despair, I moved to Canada to cool off a bit. 

I lived there for the next three years spending the weekends watching hockey with my new polar bear friends and eating Tim bits. 

It was at that point in my life when I realized my true love for writing. 
Because Hogwarts did not teach English Language Arts, I was unable to read and write up until that point. 

I moved to the Middle East to write people's personal stories, but I accidentally stumbled upon illuminati and started writing about them instead. 
They caught me and as punishment, I was locked in a cellar for 10 years with nothing but bread, water, and a crappy iPod touch 4th generation with wattpad on it to keep me company, 

*curse you illuminati!

where I am still here today.