splatt_the_cat
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and i go up to my brain and i go "can i write a chapter now please?" and my brain goes "NO. we're gonna cry four nine hours." and i go "oookaaayy" and then i go take a nap and come back and i go "any updates?" and my brain goes "yeah, we dreamt up the perfect dialogue exchange while you were asleep. because we HATE you. now take these writing tips that don't work, go fetch!" and i go "oookaay" and i go up to the podcasts i listen to while writing and i go "can i get a funny episode please?" and they go "NO!" and i go "okaaaaayyyy" and they go you're a little sad bitch, aren't you?" and i go "noooo" and they go "SAY IT!" and i go "i'm a little sad bitch" and then i go over to the writing help desk, which is an oxymoron by the way, and i go "can i please write a chapter now?" and they go "NO! in fact, we're gonna suck all your motivation to do anything remotely creative and you're gonna guilt-trip yourself about it for ten hours!" and i go "why are you doing this to me?!" and they go "because we're neurodivergent, and life is a fucking nightmare!"