dia :3

Crazy account this shit is ancient 

well yall. its been literally so long watafak how we doin

omd I don’t know if you remember me I haven’t talked to you in ages I used to make like evesou fanfics and I faked my entire identity  as a boy because I was scared.

now that user-to-user messaging is gone, im so sad cuz i genuinely used to read old convos <3

On May 6, 2024 0:00:00 UTC, user-to-user private messaging will no longer be a feature on Wattpad and existing conversations will be deleted. You will still be able to receive messages from Wattpad-affiliated accounts. Learn more
          
          
          wait what really?? omg i love you guys im not ready for this change.

life has been uncomfortably easy on me, which is a good thing but also i dont want it to be too good because then something bad is gonna happen when i least expect it.

hi :)

gasp. its been a while since i updated on my life. nothing really. just letting bullshit pass bc ive complained enough already. im tired, i just dont rly have energy for this SHIT anymore. 
          <3 my birthday is march 31 btw

back from newport and omg. happy with my life again because for once, an adult didnt stereotype me as moody and mean just because im a teenager. the height of my vacation, tyrell, the guy working in the native store. 
          as ive been saying like, about the future being scary, HE started the convo of it being scary when we dont know what's coming, and i feel like i definitely needed to hear that from an experienced adult. someone whos been there, done that, and was able to emphasize with me. yk, without the "your parents are just tryna teach u" and shit. 
          "u got strict parents?" followed by a "youll get thru this, i believe in you."
          we need more adults like him in the world >>>>

UGH tfw someone says something that gets your hopes up but it doesnt happen or turns out to be untrue? like omg you literally told me.. dont tell me if you wont do it omg it hurts bye. 
          
          sometimes i just get the feeling that waiting on something will change the course of my life but idek what that something is. i just need SOMETHING to come and change everything. ugh whatever wishing on things is so silly especially when the wish is so otherworldly and beyond what i should expect. its uncomfortable, i set such high expectations, always wanting things i know i just simply cant have because of the things that hold me down it.. it just feels like sometimes holding on hurts more than letting go. JUST another silly thing i think about from time to time, wondering if the thing im waiting on is actually me and im just afraid to be the reason my castles made of dust end up falling. 
          
          i guess maybe sometimes i wish people would look past what they see on the outside and consider what lies on the inside. the imperfections. the dreams, the fears, and the extent individuals will go just to feel... something.