Yo first time on here in a long ass time but that's because nobody I know IRL is on this god forsaken platform just to get a couple things out there that don't need to be,
So first off my mom's dad (reason I didn't say grandfather will be relevant in a minute) got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer but because of where it is they can't safely remove it right now so that's a thing, my dad's dad has a blod clot in his heart with at best a >50% chance to survive but if his heart rate goes up at all he will most likely die so he's baked af rn to keep calm which makes it hard to talk to him and I realized today that I might have seen him alive for the last time today. Naturally my parents are really stressed but on top of it my brother is trying to drop highschool (among other things) making the whole situation worse. I'm not really handling any of this very well at all and I "accidentally" stabbed myself a couple days ago (in the leg I'm fine the cut was barely surface level) but I've pretty much spent the past day in bed and seriously thinking about a) leaving everything to go be probably homeless in my homeland, or b) kms, I don't really have anyone to talk to and I have the means, money for a plane ticket, driving license and a Colt 1911 probably not going to go through with anything writing this out really helped so I hope y'all are good gonna go watch anime now.
