c.kxye

if hindi makapasok si kyle sa with honors this quarter, i’ll back out. I'll say it again, IF HINDI MAKAPASOK SI KYLE SA WITH HONORS THIS QUARTER, I'LL BACK OUT. i will be disappointed with him. i was so shocked when he told me kahapon that hindi na daw siya pasok sa with honors this quarter, achiever nalang daw siya. kasi it’s the case about him and ma’am paz which is nagcheat (naghelp siya magcheat)sa esp tapos wala siyang mapasang notebook kasi nawala, tapos wala rin daw siyang performance sa tle nila. I’LL BE SO DISAPPOINTED TO HIM. siya kasi ’yung tipo ng tao na sobrang laid back when it comes to academics, he’s like a boy version of me when it comes to school i’m just far more worse. sobrang 50-50 talaga kasi nung situation niya na ako ’yung natatakot para sa kanya. kasi noon daw kinwento ni ma’am paz sa ’min that he has this student na matalino but was caught cheating so he was graduating and nakiusap ’yung parents to not expell him kaya natanggal nalang sa with honors. and i think she’s foreshadowing that the cheaters (i think kyle was one of them kasi he helped, bobo kasi e, pag sa tropa hindi makatanggi) will not be included sa with honors. AHICH WILL MAKE ME SOOO SAD. 

still nothing. haha siguro paunti unti nawawala na ’yung feelings ko sakan’ya

eto lang hah. i feel like may something na alam si kevs. kasi magkakagrupo sila sa Hip-Hop dance meaning they must've had some conversations about things. kasi kanina lang kevs asked me, infront of kyle pa hah if kami pa daw ni sean, this is how the convo went: 
          
          k: kayo pa ni sean? 
          c: bakit? 
          k: wala tinatanong ko lang, so kayo pa? 
          c: bakit nga? may bago na siya? 
          k: bakit kung meron? 
          c: wala, antagal nang walang kami no? last year pa. 
          
          i don’t exactly remember the whole thing but he said something like, “so kung kayo pa edi siya (sean) partner mo sa prom?” tapos sabi ko, “kaya nga eto (tinuro ko pa si kyle nun) partner ko kasi wala na kami e” or smthng like that. tapos, feel ko inaasar/inniissue niya ako kay kyle (he knows there ks something going on)  kasi may pahabol pa siya na “hala, kinikilig” but either way i’m planning to drop a subtle hints towards him. i’ll make a lil move 

lil late but he invited me as his partner for up coming jhs-shs mystic night. i was supposed to reach out to him that day, kasi ayaw ni macky, wala daw susuotin. tapos sabi ko, ay si kyle nalang ako dapat magchachat sakanya sabi ko pa sa gabi nalang. tapos nagulat ako nagchat sakin. kahit daw magkaaway kami kung pwede daw ba kami nalang partner sa prom. 

if bukas mag merge ulit ’yung classes, that’ll be the REALL sign from Him. (ain’t no way this will happen, but i’d still hope)

kagabi, i was talking to God about Kyle. i said to Him to give me a sign, that he wants me as much as i want him or if he still (if ever he did) like me. sinabi ko sa Kanya, “Lord, bigyan mo ako ng sign, kung magiging magkaklase kami tomorrow that means that it’s a yes and he likes me still.” which was nearly impossible to happen because i know for a fact that this Monday should be a normal monday since CLARAA is already finished and this should be a normal class. sa bi ko pa sa Knya “Lord, bukas na bukas talaga hah?” 
          
          and guess what? Sampaguita and Sunflower mergedd?!?! ay first i didn’t realised it uo until it was 2nd class that i remember my convo with God. and i am telling u, i was so shocked that time. i’m flabbergasted. 
          
          was that a sign from you, God? what do you want me to do? :(( i want your guidance 

wala yatang araw na hindi kita iisipin. ginayuma mo siguro ako no? kasi sobrang nasasaktan talaga ako. i wanna slap you across the face then kiss it and hug you tight until you can’t breath. ang sakit mo, kyle. (i’m crying rn, you’re the very first person who could break my heart like this) (⁠´⁠;⁠︵⁠;⁠`⁠)

miss na miss na kita kyke, ang sakit sa puso

miss ko na siya gagi

he cut ties with me (ended our tiktok streak)