stardustful

i haven't been active. at all. but sometimes words build up in me and spill out, so i thought rather than to spill them to someone i couldn't bear and love all too much, i'd spill them here.
          	yes, i published something new. but it's not a book, but rather a collection of words for you.

stardustful

i haven't been active. at all. but sometimes words build up in me and spill out, so i thought rather than to spill them to someone i couldn't bear and love all too much, i'd spill them here.
          yes, i published something new. but it's not a book, but rather a collection of words for you.

stardustful

this message may be offensive
i fucked up.
          i fucked up real bad.
          i've made mistakes.
          i've made friends, i've made enemies.
          i've made intentional cuts into my skin.
          i've had thoughts of suicide.
          multiple times, i've cried until i couldn't cry any more.
          i've hurt myself and i've hurt others.
          but
          i forgive myself.
          i forgive others.
          but i forgive myself.
          i forgive myself for the mistakes i've made.
          i've made mistakes and i've been roaming a dark place for quite some time.
          but it's time to be brave and wander and find a lighter place.
          i deserve to love myself.
          everyone does
          people make mistakes.
          people yell things.
          people slam things.
          people hate themselves and others.
          i hated myself.
          i still do.
          i have a long way to go.
          but the first step to finding a lighter place is to forgive myself and others.
          i'm sick of having my mistakes cross through my mind. i'm sick of having every fuck up haunt me.
          and i forgive myself.
          it's okay to make mistakes and to have a little screw up every now and then.
          you have to remember that you're human and you're living life.
          you make mistakes, you lose people, you find people.
          it's life
          the secret of life isn't any number.
          it's happiness.
          to find happiness within myself, i have to start somewhere.
          i'm done with wallowing in my own shadows.
          i'm sick of suffocating myself.
          i'm sick of being my own demon.
          so i apologize and i forgive.
          i can't keep track of every mistake but i apologize. and i forgive for mistakes that have been made for me.
          you see the first step to getting out of a hole is forgiveness.
          maybe some people don't deserve to be forgiven, but you should always be able to forgive yourself.
          so to anyone reading this..
          please remember this
          you are beautiful.
          you are amazing.
          you may be in a bad place right now, and that sucks. you might be going in circles right now, but eventually you'll find a way out.
          your life is nothing.
          you live and then you die.
          so please make your life something.

stardustful

this message may be offensive
you just don't get it.
          you can pretend to understand, to listen, to know what it's like
          and unless you're me, You. Just. Don't. Get. It.
          @ you know who the fuck you are
          @ it's probably not aimed at you but if you're affected by this you're obviously guilty of something

stardustful

society is weird.
          it sets an example of how people should look, act, and be.
          but society also forces depression, eating disorders, and ill-feelings because people CAN'T keep up with society's expectations.
          so why do we follow it?
          every day, i struggle with body image and who i am.
          it's hard for me to accept that i'm not one of those skinny girls, that i have a belly, that fat exists, that my belly circumference is over half my height.
          but why is it hard for me to accept?
          because of society.  
          if society didn't tell us that we weren't worth it unless we were pretty or skinny,
          then maybe i wouldn't be suffering from all my problems.
          maybe im not fat, ugly, or worthless.
          those are just words made up by society to label and define people but without society,
          there's only individual people trying to survive...

stardustful

@leftycross and yet i actually GAINED two belly inches
            i also ate 40 saltines, 40 wheat thins, and a spoonful of nutella last night
            i lost control...
            :o
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stardustful

@leftycross 
            uh u r like uber lit
            i do diet and exercise btw xD
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gives_zero_fucks

@queen_of_nowhere i know looks can be decieving. Looking at how attractive i am, you wouldnt think i am so humble and nice! Jk i an ugly bitch. Anyways, if u think u are soooo fat, diet or something:) take my advice, "you are good just the way you are." Plus u pretty. We both are, so join the club :) 
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