@AngelicSweetie Hello, thanks for letting me read this, it indeed sounds like a good start to a story... I am assuming this is the blurb, correct? I feel as if there is no actual idea of an initial event in this blurb. You have written more about the feelings associated with relationships and children, though I cannot see an initial event, and so readers, or some readers may get confused with what this story is going to be about. My advice is to ease of with saying such and such about children and focus on the initial event of your story in the blurb. I hope you understand where I am coming from, if you disagree with me, that's okay. PEACE!