@starsforsunoo
Guys... I'm drafting a hospital au sunsun fic.
Anyone interested? In being my beta?
@starsforsunoo beta reader is someone who reads your fic draft before posting and gives their review and tells where to correct things. Like proofreading before posting, you know?
i was born in a lifetime where i was nothing distinctive. i have realized that i will live and die as something ordinary, unlike the way i was raised to be.
i was raised to be someone opalescent and shining, a clear rim light that separated me. and when i saw cracks through the trees, i ran. lunged forward into the cold air. nobody here knows my name. i will not be given the attention here, nobody cares that i have been raised as someone fixated on, focused on. corrected until i am nothing but perfect.
I lost my academic power when I was precisely seven years old.
all because I messed up a word in Arabic. i still remember. it was the Urdu translation of the word "zarf". it was "post, envelope" and I wrote "back", i don't remember anymore. i don't want to.
it cost me a whole point. I went from 100% to 99%. 1st place to 2nd.
i got first place again in 6th grade but until then I went through so much that I didn't care anymore. i didn't want to shine. didn't want distinction.
but it was already engraved into me and I couldn't shake it off.
today, in the world of art, where everything is subjective, i keep comparing myself.
@starsforsunoo to others. it hurts me that even if I do publish my book I'll live and die as ordinary. even if it gets attention, I'll live and die as ordinary. i want to die ordinary. i don't want to die ordinary. i don't know. i don't want to live and see the next day. (moral of the story: parents fuck you up big time, esp if you an only child)
I'm bad at English :( maybe that's why I cant make sentences with special vocab and adequate structure. to be a writer as good as ones that I love, will I have to be a bit older? to understand the world?
@starsforsunoo thank you, thank you. i feel really really terrible and insecure today, so thank you for always coming over to me
@starsforsunoo you're already a great author! Ig experience matters, but it can come from anywhere. I personally love ur writing style, and I bet a bunch of others do too!
@supershoi MWAH
@supershoi HOW WAS IT
@supershoi SMUT IS COMING JSJSKSKDK
@starsforsunoo IT WAS SO GOOD FJDJDK MINSUNG AND HEEJAKE?!? my heart is dying from happiness overload
@jeanbootswiththefur it's smut
@supershoi TYSM
@supershoi DID YOU READ IT YET