rebecca

genuinely just burst into tears because i put on makeup and i looked so f*cking ugly. 

universe pleaseeeeee give me a boyfriend pleaseeeeee i will treat him so well ill give him so many kisses pleaseeeeeee

My love, I'd love to know when you're going to update your stories... I miss them.

driving at night, it's raining, i'm in my small town hometown. noah kahan's newest album just came out and it's blaring on the speakers. i drive past the graveyard my grandparents were recently buried in.
          
          the tears fall freely

hey i'm looking for some advice and support from people who've done college? or anyone honestly
          
          i'm graduating in a few weeks. i'm graduating a year early, so i'm kind of between two grades. like i was in third and fourth year classes my freshman year. and i had an awful first year, moving from a very small town (called a village actually) to a big city where my college is located. i got bullied by my roommate and "friends" real bad, and it was just awful. didn't have any friends my freshman year.
          
          second year i protected my peace. i lived in a single, still did really good in classes, got involved in a lot of extracurriculars, made myself important (got leadership positions). but i never really made friends. i knew people from a ton of grades, my grade, years above and below, but never a "friend group."
          
          i'm in my 3rd year, still involved in a lot, i'm an ra, i know a ton of people, made some actual friends, but like,, not really close if that makes sense. and now things are wrapping up. i'm stepping down from leadership positions, saying goodbye to people. i'm honestly not really close with people in my own grade.
          
          but with that being said. i feel like i'm graduating alone. i don't have friends. my family isn't supportive at all. i'm doing everything alone. it feels so lonely. and i'm sad. i had my last scholars event last night and i was pretty good friends with two people and now i won't see them again because we aren't close friends. we're just saying bye forever.
          
          and i have no one to talk about this with. and i'm accomplishing great things, i know that. i'm going to grad school. i'm young. i was super involved and had a ton of leadership positions. but god i feel so alone.
          
          and i don't really know what to do or how to feel. i don't want to do this alone. but i feel like i have to. i always do everything alone. it just hurts ig.
          
          idk if anyone has any advice or if this was just me ranting. but... idk.

hey so my allergies are really bad and it really affects my eyes and writing is such a pain rn. i’m struggling to get my college assignments done because i literally can’t read. i am still going to try to post a chapter this weekend or at least in the upcoming week! 

i need noah kahan’s album to come out yesterday. i need the feels. im graduating college in a few weeks and my toxic family is being my toxic family and i need the soundtrack to cry about it. 

okay so i saw spider-man but he was like three feet tall and his suit was really baggy…
          
          didn’t see spider-man lol but you’d be surprised how many kids i saw in a full on spider-man costume. so freaking cute 
          
          new york was such a blast!!! i want to go back rn 

i’m omw to new york ill let you guys know when i see spider-man

a drag path but it’s the hundreds of quilts my gram made during her life that every grandkid, kid, sibling, and friend now has and can remember her by.