First off, I am a very sadistic person, which means that I enjoy watching people suffer because of the foul odor from a certain cheese (guilty but not THAT guilty), the death of their eardrums caused by my constant screaming (cough), the table that appeared out of nowhere which stubbed their delicate and pathetic toes (honestly, they're idiots), and because of the angst that I force them to read just so I can entertain myself by watching them rip out their hearts from their (flat) chests and tear it to little pieces (I may or may have done the honor of doing so) as they cry like pathetic, little sods whom they are, as I cherish the beautiful sight ( wHEEZE).
 
Second, I am a good friend. (A twisted one, that is)

Third off, I also enjoy hurting myself by reading the good 'ol angst. Sigh.

Fourth, Don't expect PERSONAL INFORMATION from me (maybe u aren't, but) 

Fifth, (the most important one) I am trash.