*dramatic gasp that I cant do in any form of social interaction* I loved your writing! It's amazing! It's better than mine and you cant tell me otherwise. Here's the plan:
1. List 5 reasons you are a 'decent human'
2. Ask family or friends about those 5 reasons for their opinion
3. Write how you feel, rewrite it even, so you know for sure how to act on it when the time is right
I hope this helps with SOMETHING, but let me know if its actualy useful! :3