I don't know why I leave for so long, I never know the reason behind anything I do. I've just been thinking over some things and nothing makes sense to me. I always come back, but I know I'm just ruining everything. I never will be good enough and I never will know anything. It frustrates me to think that I could actually be normal for once when in reality I was just fooling myself. sometimes I don't want to come back, and again, I don't know why. I care about the ones close to me but I feel as if I'm just messing up people's live's.