@rewindziall Incorrect: “What the heck? There’s actually a supernatural creature for a girl that can draw some weird ass shapes or people and just adding colors in it, and there’s not a supernatural creature for a sarcastic boy about having his bat as his only defense?”
Correction: “What the heck? There’s actually a supernatural creature for a girl that can draw strange objects or random people while there isn’t a supernatural creature for a sarcastic teenager with a metal bat as his only defense?”
I am not attempting to come off as mean or crude but I’m going to be blunt because you asked me to oversee your story and tell you if its good or not. I am reading every chapter carefully and I am going to tell you your mistakes but that doesn't mean your bad at writing it just means that you missed some things. Your ‘Prologue’ is more like a summary because its not long enough to be an actual Prologue and besides the first sentence I think that it’s a good start. When you write you don't want to write and all the time or just generally more than once in a sentence also when you write a comma you never write and or but after it, there’s a reason the comma is there. The part where you wrote “there’s not a supernatural creature for a sarcastic boy about having his bat as his only defense?” Does not only make little to no sense, you need to make sure your adjectives and nouns go well together. Try not to make the sentences longer just because you need more words, sometimes the shorter the sentence the better. Always, always make sure you re-read what you wrote at least three times before publishing because in reality when someone reads something and they catch a mis-spelling, 36 percent of their thoughts are going to be stuck on that little mistake and not your story.
