blue

"Yesterday I realized, all of a sudden, that I've grown older. I'm not that six year old anymore, believing in everything and everyone. I realized that I can look back to when I was eight and recall how I lost my belief in magic and miracles, I can think back to when I was ten and remember how I gradually lost my faith in my parents, I can call to mind when I was the age of twelve and I lost sight of myself. Yesterday I lost track of time and I lost all sense of belonging. I'm not that person anymore. I'm done with being that person. I lost that person-and I don't know if that calms me or frightens me more."

"Maybe it's time to face the music-you can live without the people you've become so convinced that you cannot lose, and they can live without you."

Can I just like rant real quick? I mean, it's a rant so obviously it isn't quick per say but...shhhh just go with it. So I have a really good friend, let's call her Zoe-she's pretty awesome and so I recently found out that she's bisexual, and now she's dating another friend of mine, named...we'll go with Belle. So my friend "Zoe" came out to her mom the other day and her mom went through the entire cycle of "oh you're too young to know your feelings", "it's just a phase", etc etc, and now her mom's completely ignoring her. You know what irritates the crap out of me? When homophobic people tell all us lovely rainbow unicorns that whatever we're feeling is "just a phase" or that we're "too young" to know for sure. It may well be "just a phase" for some of us, but honestly just automatically assuming that for us is pretty f*cking annoying, and rather infuriating, to pretend like you know our minds. Also, I don't think that sexuality is something that you might be necessarily born with, I think of it as more of something you develop-because you haven't seen many people. I like to kind of think about it like puberty-it's just something that happens to you, you don't choose it and you can't control it (if I could I'd give myself flawless skin-acne -_-). It happens sometimes to people when they're seven, and sometimes it doesn't even begin to hit until seventeen. There's no age that you have to be before you're "old enough" to know your own sexuality, there are no requirements-you just are. And it frustrates me so much sometimes that people can be so small-minded as to say that to be sure that you're LGBTQ (aka us lovely rainbow unicorns) you need to be "old enough" but that there's no age for straight people. The serious double standards that has survived for so long needs to stop and people need to start accepting that different isn't always bad. And on that note, watch Glee-Brittana is adorable af x3

Last night I dreamt, that somebody loved me. I woke up soon after... Waking up from a dream is the most emotionally draining, physically exhausting  and mentally challenging thing you could ever do, and I'm only just now finding out. I know it's over, and that it never really began, but to my heart it was so real...no worries though, because I never really expected it to be real-I hoped so much it ached, but that's over now...I think. No harm done, love was only ever a miserable lie anyway.

Went to the RAFT dance last night, got a number within five minutes of talking to some girl with a half-shaved head and blue hair. Thank the gods for flings, and here's to hook-ups that don't mean anything other than temporary illusions of forgetting-raise your glass, I'm not done saying it yet: here's to happily falling apart.