Hey there! I'm currently reading your Living In Pain book. I love it, but I have some constructive criticism for you.
First off all, your book is great! But it could use (a little) more detail. By more detail I mean you could add more to the situation and that would make chapters longer.
Secondly, when the characters are speaking, it's better to us "these" then to not use them. It's a bit confusing without them.
~Examples~
Yours- I really enjoyed that party said Bob
Improved- "I really enjoyed that party." Said Bob.
I meant this as constructive criticism and not as anything rude! Your a great writer with a great imagination.
PS please don't stop writing this book cause it'd be really good with the correct punctuation. (It's still really good now tho)
