If you're saying you don't want to live, god put you on this Earth for a reason. I Know your life is perfect than anyone's out there, I wouldn't waist your life saying negative things about it. Sometimes you can be negative, but half of the time you have to be positive. I used to think like you, even though I still do sometimes, I have to complete with myself, and tell me I'm worth it. I almost killed myself saying those things and doing the mistakes I did, I'm still doing it but I make sure I was all my sins away. Expect yourself before anyone could expect you first.
I may not Know what you're going through but I know how you feel.