fmlhrs
this message may be offensive
291019 | uk 102919 | us ;
that makes it 365 days that i've spent dealing with your ass ,,, or maybe it's the other way round - but uh let's just pretend that i'm the responsible adult that i'm meant to be. so i think i've reached my nice-limit for this year - the grinch would be proud ( guess who'll be visiting me for christmas instead of santa ) - but i guess i'm willing to make an exception today . . . lmao you thought. i
could be poetic as i was with the dealer messages but i think for today i'd like to be raw . the raw ace, beneath everything because our relationship was like that wasn't it ? you saw me at my lowest at a very early stage in our relationship, remember in the groupchat ? but you didn't run away. i'll be honest, i thought i'd scared you off . i mean i wouldn't blame you, i was a literal train-wreck but you didn't let that shake you off. i am still, till this day baffled that you still came back to me after experiencing my worst. and i guess that's how i knew this relationship was going to be something even the stars envied from their midnight thrones. sorry, i know i said i wouldn't but acespeare just came out. oops. i know you're not good with words but that's ok because my messages make up for both of us. but i just wanted to say thank you. thank you lanie for putting up with my shit. thank you lanie for accepting me. thank you lanie for understanding me. thank you lanie for trusting me. but most of all thank you lanie for loving me when i thought no-one else could. we're a pretty crazy bunch of friends aren't we? and i suppose that's why 'the dealers' fits so perfectly. we're all just a little fucked up but that's why we fit together so well. i'm glad that you're one of us, i'm glad i found you and i'm glad you held us together. because you do lanie.
fmlhrs
this message may be
offensive
so thank you lanie. thank you for being you and loving me. thank you for entering my life and taking this chaotic shit-storm of a person into your life and never letting go . and whenever i feel tired, during those last moments of consciousness i think of the dealers. and when i think of you i remember. i remember the sound of your voice and how it sails on the tides of self-consciousness. i remember how your features lift and twirl into that dangerously innocent smile and i remember the look in those eyes . a promise of forever . and as i close my eyes and lose myself to temporary death , i am content .
fmlhrs
this message may be
offensive
and maybe i wasn't searching for peace, maybe i was content in being the destructive force of reckless impulsiveness that entered your life a year ago. maybe i was content on being that broken dumbass and i think at times i still i am, but you forced me to find it anyway. meeting you meant that i found another one of the broken shards that'd come together to fix me again. and i wouldn't have it any other way .