Ray

mmaybe not mayby. I  enjoyed the story, and sorry for the many  correctional,  and there was a few more, but I'm falling asleep right now.....

in After we are you have her describing the girl who has her questioning her sexually and her eyes are blue like the SEA, see is to look at or observe something.....

After shaking hands she looks down shaking her HEAD 

In the th third day when Eva and her girl meet for the first time and shake hands how sparks and butterflies fill her STOMACH, you had it ending in mack.....

on this second day she's talking about cutting her tights and wrists, well tights needs to be thighs. 

In my second day she's talking about the girl she saw.  She had curly hair the most curly that I'm hev ever seen,  but that needs to be 'that I HAVE ever seen' And it doesn't have to be capitalized, I just did that to show you how to fix it.

I'm not correcting you,  well ok I am, but in a way that you can understand why and what needs to be fixed. You have Eva telling us the reason why she is wearing glasses is  because she's short-sighted,  well the correct version of this is being 'nearsighted'. I'm not telling you this as a FIX  IT NOW, but it would have bugged me endlessly, and I just wanted you to understand what was wrong. I'm sorry but I'm an editor and when I see an error that needs fixing I edit, but NOT rudely, just for you to read, but if your completely finished with the story and DON'T want me to stop it and just read the story,  please just say so!!!

Out of curiosity. Why is you username hoping-to-stay-alive?

thanks for the vote gorgeous

Thanks for the votes babe! :-* ❤