suptch

She. Is the kelpie I give my flesh too. She is the eye for human experience. She is the one who received the gift. I do not get to touch her long mane/curls but simply exist, my hand stuck to her. Her instincts tasting me before her kelpie teeth and tongue do. She knows how it goes down, and I am a simple passerby. Before the pond steps up to permanence. And the last thing I do is think of her strong teeth and defining bite.

suptch

She. Is the kelpie I give my flesh too. She is the eye for human experience. She is the one who received the gift. I do not get to touch her long mane/curls but simply exist, my hand stuck to her. Her instincts tasting me before her kelpie teeth and tongue do. She knows how it goes down, and I am a simple passerby. Before the pond steps up to permanence. And the last thing I do is think of her strong teeth and defining bite.

suptch

Just when I think life is going good, I hear some evil thing breathe in my ear and I begin the path of paranoia, treading the test of unconditional love. What would he sacrifice to let me keep my sanity? for us to escape into truth Because the evil thing is blood deep. But it would hurt to tell him, my father, to cut off his parents for me. 
          
          All children are laborers in their hands and I weep for the past and rejoice in fantasy of timely caskets because the reality may be of example and spite.
          It's too late and I always knew it would hurt deeper to not tell you. 
          
          But let me be ugly if they are ugly and if you love them. 
          I allow myself to be ugly for an addled love like you love them. Blood incubates my sins, I only wish they were mine alone. And three- four generations ago only feels like yesterday to my soul. It's not in my power or right to wish you a next life and all the things in it but we're not escaping into truth. I stay ugly not because I love you but because you love them. I could have been a better parent. I could do anything but prompt you to cut them off.

suptch

I was flabbergasted, flummoxed, bemused, anything out of the ordinary about my predicament. Why should I get anxious about going to a family event!? In fact, screw them! They should be anxious about meeting me not the other way around! I am intimidating, I am bold, I am... ALPHA!! AWOOOO!  
          
          bruh. wtf. jokes aside, srs, why should I be anxious, I hate my nerves. and in retrospect, I can make a lot of choices but I choose to post about it here. I wish emojis were allowed, the tonal message would come across differently. (*smh)