swagglordd

you tell me to eat my vegetables, why can’t i smoke them

the only thing that i thank my dad for is my daddy issues that made me funny

no mom, it’s not gay if i suck his dick, he’s wearing socks

it’s my birth anniversary, ugh can’t believe i’m not dead yet

roses are red,
          violets are blue.
          i have a giant horse cock,
          can i put it in you?

guys we actually need to save barron trump, he looks so sad

why does everyone think oikawa is a top? that man is 100% a bottom

i have to wear rubber bands in triangles, so i can only open my mouth 1 cm, no dick sucking tonight

if i shat myself...
          
          would you
          a) walk away (￣^￣)
          b) clean it ( ◠‿◠ )
          c) shit yours with me ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡
          d) eat it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

do people actually get shy around their crush? i get loud as hell