swampbitch2000

PLEASE give feedback on the sex scene  i need to know if my writing needs to change or improve on this topic. thank you all 

swampbitch2000

thank you so so much for the feedback!! i’m glad you’re enjoying the story - and yes i agree, mouse dog bird is AMAZING, best radiohead fanfic imo. i will definitely go back and improve this scene in the ways you suggested, i was quite nervous to write a smut scene and may have rushed it (not writing enough foreplay etc) and i’ll clarify about the pregnancy thing in the story too! so glad you like the story ❤️❤️
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hennepincrawler

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@swampbitch2000 it was really good!!! very tasteful for a wp fic :D only things i noticed is that foreplay was pretty minimal and imo there wasn't enough communication abt thom Finishing lol. unless that was what you were going for ! like with undaria being inexperienced . or maybe she can't get gregnant ! (but if that was the case it'd be important for that to be made clear in the story lol) it just kinda irks me when i'm reading something and the girl gets cummed in w/o any context LOL. and as for foreplay if you just wanted a short and sweet thing to move the plot forward then i suppose it makes sense but it's still nice to have it included/normalized (since on wattpad a lot of the time it's barely included!!!). but i really love the story so far, to be blunt the vast majority of rh fics are pretty shit (on wp at least--there's some incredible stuff on ao3, mouse dog bird for one is actually nutty it's so good) so it's refreshing to see. the plot is super interesting and the boys are actually well written :3 deffo looking forward to the next chapter !
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swampbitch2000

PLEASE give feedback on the sex scene  i need to know if my writing needs to change or improve on this topic. thank you all 

swampbitch2000

thank you so so much for the feedback!! i’m glad you’re enjoying the story - and yes i agree, mouse dog bird is AMAZING, best radiohead fanfic imo. i will definitely go back and improve this scene in the ways you suggested, i was quite nervous to write a smut scene and may have rushed it (not writing enough foreplay etc) and i’ll clarify about the pregnancy thing in the story too! so glad you like the story ❤️❤️
Reply

hennepincrawler

this message may be offensive
@swampbitch2000 it was really good!!! very tasteful for a wp fic :D only things i noticed is that foreplay was pretty minimal and imo there wasn't enough communication abt thom Finishing lol. unless that was what you were going for ! like with undaria being inexperienced . or maybe she can't get gregnant ! (but if that was the case it'd be important for that to be made clear in the story lol) it just kinda irks me when i'm reading something and the girl gets cummed in w/o any context LOL. and as for foreplay if you just wanted a short and sweet thing to move the plot forward then i suppose it makes sense but it's still nice to have it included/normalized (since on wattpad a lot of the time it's barely included!!!). but i really love the story so far, to be blunt the vast majority of rh fics are pretty shit (on wp at least--there's some incredible stuff on ao3, mouse dog bird for one is actually nutty it's so good) so it's refreshing to see. the plot is super interesting and the boys are actually well written :3 deffo looking forward to the next chapter !
Reply