happy new year!
little rant ahead but 2024 really shaped me more than I could've imagined. it was such a tough year but it was genuinely one of my best. i had nobody at one point but then everyone i needed after i went back to school. the start was tough and i lost some people but I couldn't be happier with the ones i still have and the ones who've stayed, especially the ones yet to come.
accepting change has been one of the greatest things I could've done, and giving myself the option to forgive and accept all life has to offer has fixed my mind in a way I can't even describe. im young and don't expect to be emotionally mature. i don't expect to be mature at all since i still want to be a little kid deep inside. and i understand with this, my lack of care has hurt and discomforted people in the past, and for that i am sorry. i have never set out to hurt anyone, no matter who you are, and if i have, i am sorry. i adore that everyone sees everyone in different ways, but I couldn't help but feel disgusted for both myself and the other person when told how i am seen in their eyes, especially knowing that person isn't me and never will be me. i hope i can be forgiven as i have forgiven myself.
im never active here and it honestly fills me with dread even being on here. so many people i've met and had deep connections with over the years, now i only speak with a handful. im grateful for my best friend and i will never leave her side. she's all i need in the new year and i honestly wouldn't have been this happy without her. i love her more than myself sometimes. but i know this year is going to be amazing and i honestly can't wait to experience it no matter how boring or messy it gets. going into it being the person i am is all i need to know it's all gonna be worth it.
i love all of you. have a good 25 everyone ❤️
