𝑽𝒊𝒏𝒏𝒚★

So a week ago i signed up for therapy finally, my first appointment is in feburary but I had psych evaulation yesterday. Honestly, all the people there were so kind and understanding. I've always felt something was wrong with me, and i was able to dig into the mud a little. I was diagnosed with only anxienty which wasnt a shocker really. I'm just thankful I don't have a personality disorder (nothing against people who do at all) I just know that if I did it would make life harder. 
          
          I hope when I can actually start the therapy everything will settle out and get better! I have faith things will get better but life is just constant ups and downs all we can do is take the time to take care of ourselves <3

Vinny is a better name I think I genuinely like it much more than the nickname some manipulative hoe gave me years ago and I just went along with it for bad reasons. People don't even use the correct pronouncation, not even the person who started it. 
          Vinny is soft and sweet, but leaves room for complexity in my opinion at least.

God hes the best, i love him so fucking much.. 
          i've liked him for so long and im so happy i finally get to get all my dreams with him i can't wait to live in a beautiful house with him and i just love him so muchhh

I love having my dream man as my boyfriend he's so precious.. <33

so turns out they found absolutely nothing!! 
          
          im going to be very vunerable here for a second, i don't know whats actually causing it but its been going on for so long and honestly I think its from my past actions of starving myself and other things I did as part of having an ED
          Theres nothing they ever found wrong with my stomach, this shit has been going on for over a year. It could be a mixture of stuff, I never seen anything about people's stomachs tearing itself apart (there was holes in my intestines like a year ago) due to not eating? 
          
          MY only idea is that because the small intestine is the one that picks up the nutrients that the fact I wasn't eating made it lack nutrients or something?? and thats what they cut out of me, part of my small intestine. 
          I also feel like i need to vomit whenever i haven't ate, and i did so this morning
          I've vomited stomach acid/bile until there was none left to throw up and it felt like my stomach was just squeezing itself dry. Yeah i have no idea hopefull it will get fixed soon wish me luck.

HADSHADBGSHDBAHDBHJ 
          I FINALLY got out the hospital had some internal bleeding sigh but im fine they took part of one of my organs for an autopsy and we'll see if my medication is slowly killing me or im chronically ill!!! YAYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
          
          anyways uh nothing new other than i love my boyfriend and life is amazing :p

guyyss imma post my unfinished nanowrimo here once i edit what i already havee

I'm so smart honestly props to me call me arrogant if you want ig

BARBECUE CHICKEN ALERT (ﾉòДó`)ﾉ˚ˋঌ˖

been off my anxiety medication for a minute, thought I wouldn't need it but when I stopped taking it the largest mental breakdown happen oopsie!
          It wasn't just from the medication itself obviously, theres some stressful situations within my life atm but It will get resolved eventually