pens.

hey, penny.
          
          i’m sorry i didn’t talk to you yesterday. i was moving.
          
          anyway, i’m not going to get too much into that, because, you know—personal info, but i moved overseas. other than that, i have good news:
          
          jiajing and i convinced lexi to send a message to you.
          
          it might just be a quick hello and i miss you, but at least it’s something. i’m happy for her, and she seems to be getting better.
          
          with love,
          
          lia

hey again penny. how are you? i want to write a story based off of you, and i just wanted to tell you so you know :)
          
          i don’t know how to start it. the day we met? the day i first saw you? i don’t know.
          
          other than that, i talked to your sisters over the phone earlier. alex said jade still isn’t handling it well, so i told her i wanted to meet up some time to hang out. alex said she was busy, but im meeting up with jade.
          
          is that okay? can i still look after your sisters?
          
          this is my (hopefully) daily message to you. miss you :)
          
          with love,
          
          lia

hey penny.
          
          will it be alright if i continue to talk to you hear? your discord account got deleted and you never got a phone. this is the only way i can send you messages.
          
          lexi is too afraid to message you. every time jiajing or i mention your name, lexi has a panic attack or she starts crying. i don’t know why she has such a strong reaction—and it breaks my heart—but maybe it’s because she cares for you a lot more than we originally thought.
          
          i’m trying to convince her to come message you; just a few words. i say it’ll be good for her, and she’ll be able to let all her feelings out. i told her she could cry, and told her i was crying when i first wrote you a message, too.
          
          you wouldn’t be mad if we kept coming back here and messaging you, right? we miss you so so much. we just want to believe you’re listening.
          
          jiajing doesn’t have wattpad, but she wanted me to say something for her. here is her message:
          
          —
          
          hey pens! it’s been a while since i called you that. it feels good. it reminds me of those times when we would go to those outdoor field trips and scream your name at the top of our lungs just to embarrass you. your expression was so funny.
          
          i want to see your face again. it’s not the same through photos. i think lia has taken the news the best out of all of us, then me, then lexi. lexi is devastated. lia and i keep telling her you’re still with us, but she just gets mad and tells me not to quote “cheesy lines” from movies.
          
          so anyways: i miss you, bestie, and i hope you enjoyed your time with us. please take care in your next life—the three of us will always remember you.
          
          —
          
          we miss you, penny. so, so much.
          
          with love,
          
          lia

penelope...
          
          i miss you.
          
          i wish you were still here.
          
          i remember when we first met in third grade. our teacher had told us to go take the lunch bins down to the cafeteria, and it required two people. you were quiet and im not good with new people, so it was awkward at first. but then, on the stairs, you dropped the lunch bin and almost fell backwards but i caught you. you had muttered a small “thanks”, and that was the first time i had ever heard you speak. we made small talk on the way back, and then we went our separate ways.
          
          me describing this with so much detail makes it sound almost fake, but it’s because i remember it so vividly now. maybe that’s because i want to grasp onto every memory ive had with you.
          
          i remember third and fourth grade being the best years of my life. i had you, and lexi, and jiajing (even though i don’t remember how i met them quite as well) and we made so many great memories together. you were shy and loved any kind of artsy stuff, while lexi was the funny internet nerd and jiajing and i were the athletic crazy ones. we did all sorts of crazy things, sang all sorts of crazy songs, did all these fun dares.
          
          i remember your laugh. it was quiet and innocent, and you didn’t do it often. you were really shy to everyone, but when it was just the four of us, you were smiling all the time. you always said i hugged you the most, and sometimes you were playfully annoyed, but now i wish i had hugged you more.
          
          i could go on forever, ranting about you, but all i want to say is that im sorry. im sorry for all the mistakes i made with you, im sorry i didn’t spend enough time with you, im sorry i wasn’t there enough for you.
          
          i’ll always remember you, penelope. that’s a promise.
          
          i miss you.

hewo there :D