The word "strong" is the most misunderstood word. People literally take it to mean that a person should be strong like a rock, with no emotions or attachments. But that doesn't prove anything. If you get hurt physically, you feel pain, and the same goes for your emotions. When you are hurt emotionally, it shows in your actions, words, and behavior. What I'm trying to say is: accept your whole self, along with all your emotions. Even after healing, when you decide to set boundaries to protect yourself, it doesn't mean you won't feel anything inside. And don't call yourself names when you expect to be emotionless, but still feel all those emotions you tried to hide.
The main problem is that you aren't fighting that negative pull that keeps blaming you for everything. A living human being exists with all those emotions and feelings from the past and present. Being strong doesn't mean there is a switch inside that can be turned off anytime—like you can just decide whether to activate your emotions or not. It's natural. Being strong means bearing the pain while holding onto the hope that you can make it through. It means you are handling it, even if you have complaints, but you keep going anyway. Why blame yourself just because people don't have a correct understanding of what being strong really means? They expect you to act like a lifeless rock, which you aren't.
It isn't easy, but you have to get out of the infinite overthinking that drags you into believing you are the main problem. You can't control people, and if you try, they will still do whatever they want to do anyway. Why destroy yourself because of other people? "Don’t expect, just accept"—apply this rule, and slowly things will start making sense. I'm not in your place and I can never truly feel your pain, but I just hope you take a step toward being better, and that's all I want. Maybe my words aren't enough for your hardships, but I hope they bring a little ease to your life.