guess what im in love with.....

and its hard to breathe i asked my mom if i can go to the hospital but she said im fine i hope i am..

it hurts when your bff is grounded of just not talking ill keep waiting ig..

this song is stuck in meh head after i got back from the hospital
           "A whole garden of flowers and my name etched on a rock
          All this could've been avoided, all I wanted was to talk
          Now I've been appointed, as your new king, I decree
          That it's too late to start caring about me"

these lyrics hit different  " I tried to laugh about it
          Cover it all up with lies
          I tried to laugh about it
          Hiding the tears in my eyes
          'Cause boys don't cry
          Boys don't cry "

I WANNA FUCKING KILL MYSELF IT WILL BE SO FUCKING GREAT TO BE OUT OF THIS WORLD AND PEOPLE WHO MADE ME FEEL LIKE A NOBODY AND YA KNOW WHAT CALL ME ALL THE FUCKING WORST NAMES EVER I DONT FUCKING I FEEL FUCKING GREAT!!!

Happy thoughts no negative dats no good

and it really fucking hurts when i try to sleep all i can dream is how shitty i was treated in the pass i have not slept for 6 days i feel tired and i really want to sleep but i cant:(

is it me or when you love someone soon there love for you is gone and well they stop talking to you unless you talk first and when you talk they just ignore you when its something funny or cute because thats what it feels like when i make friends but jj she talks to me but it hurts a little that i always talk first but shes there for me..

i feel like i fucked up..