LuisaDituri
Hey Tea!
Thank you so much for checking out Shutout and for showing it some love. I appreciate your support.
Happy reading!
teawritess
teawritess
Hi — i haven’t been here in a while, or on any of my platforms in a long time, but i thought i’d stop by. Hope everyone is doing great,
Much love
teawritess
So i’ve finally been diagnosed with ADD and i’m starting medication today. It’s honestly comforting to have been diagnosed instead of feeling like something’s wrong.
Anyways, hope you all have a wonderful day!
teawritess
I’ve decided to rewrite BN but not republish yet. Haven’t decided if it will be republished again, but even if it isn’t, I need to rewrite it for myself.
Just finished chapter six tho, and I consider that a personal achievement.
teawritess
Happy Woman’s Day everyone <3 hope it’s a good one!
On another note, I’ll be unpublishing BN for the time being until I figure out how to move forward
teawritess
This is incredibly hard for me to write, and I’ve contemplated posting this a long time but I have honestly been scared of what people would think.
Two years ago (maybe, I’m bad with time), there was an incident including several other writers. People I thought were my friends. I don’t want to go into detail about it, but it made me look like a horrible person to say the least. I’m not saying I’m without faults, believe me I have many, but there was only a handful of people wanting to listen to my side of the story, and it never got out.
I’m not here to tell it now, the time has gone beyond that, and I never felt I had a reason to tell it because most people had already set their minds. But it left me in a bad way, mentally. I was already going through a lot, and when that happened, I spiralled. It resulted in me leaving the writing community, and although I’ve tried getting back into it, it has been and still is a struggle for me. My account was changed, and I started rewriting BN.
Ever since it happened, I’ve struggled mentally with a lot of things. Self-doubt, overthinking, insecurities, and what not. Therefore: the rewriting. I hate it. I hate BN, rewriting, doubting everything I do, and feeling like I can never get anything right.
teawritess
@PoppyTaylorr Thank you so much for the support!! I’ll message you privately—my reply was too long to be posted omg—but check your inbox when you have time. Again, thank you so much. You literally made my day just by commenting on this.
PoppyTaylorr
I mean this in the best way possible, but finally, a realistic person who expresses the true struggles of expressing their creativity on this app.
With thousands of writers on this app, of course you’re going to be accused of stealing ideas/styles when that isn’t all the case. I too have fallen a victim to that, to which at first I let it get to me, but now I tune it out because I know deep down it’s my own imagination that I’m trying to pull to life, not someone else’s.
One thing I can say is take as long as you need, and keep those babies in your drafts and add and remove ideas as you see fit and once you feel it’s complete, then share it—but even then I can understand why you wouldn’t want to. Don’t feel obligated to give your attention to just one story. I have one specific story that took me 2 years to complete due to a pregnancy, and just lack of interest in the subject.
Readers on here can be cruel and most of it is due to jealousy that they don’t possess enough courage (or talent) to pull a story together, so they take part in tearing others down. As hard as it may be, try not to let it get to you. Most of them are like…14 year olds who likely get bullied at school, so they take vengeance on others via the internet anonymously, or 30+ year olds who don’t know the difference between there, their, and they’re.
If you ever need someone to bounce ideas off of, I’m your girl. I cannot tell you how many drafts, and notes I have saved in my phone of ideas that I’ll literally never use that I wouldn’t mind sharing with someone else to use and put their own spin on. I’m not the best writer, well I don’t claim to be one to begin with, but I do know a thing or two about grammar and creativity.
I hope you get the motivation you’re looking for soon!
teawritess
When I first started writing, I was actually feeling good about what I wrote and I could sit for hours. Now I can barely open wattpad anymore without feeling a flood of anxiety. During the start of BN, the person this incident started with helped me with my creative process. That person was my best friend at one point, and now I feel like I can’t do anything right. There were several accusations of my writing style being copied from others (and more), so I willed it to change to the point where I can’t seem to get a sentence out without hating it. I honestly LOATHE the fact that I started rewriting BN because I was happy with it at one point, and now I’m just not. I struggle to open it up, to feel inspired to write more, and I just… I don’t know what to do.
I have other stories drafted that I am currently focusing on because I still want to write, and I have some love for it still, but I feel like I have an obligation to BN and that feeling is awful if I’m being honest. But I don’t want to disappoint anyone. I still love Holland and Draco and what their story could be, but not what it is or what it has been lately.
I just don’t know what to do and I needed to write this, needed to say something. The truth is that I want to scrap it. Start over, but we’re kind of past that point with it. I can’t start another rewrite of it, and I understand people get tired of wanting to read something that always keeps getting taken down and rewritten. I think I need to think about how to do this, so I will most likely focus on my drafts of other stories until I have an idea of how to continue on.
I’m sorry for the long message, it just needed to be said. I love you all.
teawritess
I have an unhealthy obsession with hockey romance and yes my bank account was weeping when i ordered eleven books on amazon
haruhiifowl
<3 miss you
teawritess
Happy Friday!! Hope you all have an amazing weekend <3 what’s your plan for it?
teawritess
BN just reached 2k!! thank you so so much, you guys are the best
(and yes even though the title has changed, I will still call it BN >>>)