Hello, @Kuya_JohnM! As a reader, gusto ko lang po na sabihin na hindi maganda ang presentation ng story. Gusto ko lang na ayusin mo po ang story. Maraming wrong grammars & typographical errors. Tanong ko lang po, ang gamit nyo po ba sa pagsusulat ng story ay cellphone? If so, advice lang po na sumulat muna sa papel or magscratch. Pero kung ayaw nyo po, i-review mo po bago i-publish. Next, marami rin pong wrong choice of words. Do not use english words that are inappropriate. Kasi yung gusto mong iparating sa sentences, hindi agad naiintindihan ng readers dahil ang ginamit mo pong english words ay mali. I know that you're still young but there are resources, both the internet and books, that can help you. Also, listen well to your teachers in school, especially in english. To help you in increasing the range of your vocabulary, read variety of novels. Then, the proper use of commas in sentences/clauses. Mas lalong maiintindihan ng readers ang each sentences kung may commas. Please learn how to write direct and indirect sentences. Tapos po, minimize the number of main characters. Ang hirap po imemorize yung names plus their characteristics that makes them unique. Pakilagyan pong description yung setting. Kasi po ang hirap i-imagine ang places kung saan ginaganap ang story. Honestly, maganda ang concept ng story nyo na 'Enchancia Academy and The Legendary Princess' pero kailang pang ayusin. Huwag sana po kayong ma-offend dahil marami akong comments na mali sa story nyo po. Thanks and keep writing. :-)