And thus the world comes shattering down upon my frail existence..losing people you care about is the worst pain to feel, especially when you're miles away and can't do anything to help..I wasn't prepared for this and now I feel like I'm slowly witnessing the breakdown of my own mind. Everything has just progressively gotten worse as this year has gone forward and through it all I've tried my absolute damndest to be optimistic about it but I never expected to have it build up to this..I just wish time would pause and let me process this properly..